


Love is Not a Game

by CapturedByNoodles, TheatricalPlacenta



Category: Naruto
Genre: 1vs1menoob, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - High School, Everyone's Parents Are Alive, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, MMORPGs, Naruto is a Knight, Naruto's an idiot sometimes and can't see the obvious signs (TM), Online Relationship, Sasuke has it bad, Sasuke is a Rogue dark elf, Sasuke is capable of smiling, Supportive Sakura, Unapologetic flirting, Welcome to The Land of Fire, and laughing, needed to write something happy okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:25:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10331534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapturedByNoodles/pseuds/CapturedByNoodles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricalPlacenta/pseuds/TheatricalPlacenta
Summary: With prom rearing its ugly head, and Sasuke's strange behavior getting stranger, Naruto retreats into the world of The Land of Fire in an attempt to mitigate some stress. There, he meets a mysterious player named Sharingan.One who bears a striking resemblance to his best friend.





	

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! While I'm writing Shadows in the Sand, I wanted to write something I've thought about for a while, and I'm EXTREMELY happy to announce it's finally here!  
> One of my close friends, Theatrical Placenta, decided to jump on board and write this with me! She's been responsible for most of the art on Shadows in the Sand, and if you've seen her on tumblr, you'll know she's EXTREMELY  
> TALENTED. Well, drawing isn't her only skill. She's also a great writer!!!  
> So we're collaborating! I'm over the moon that we're in it together for the ride, and we're excited to show you all where it goes.  
> This fic will be shorter, about 10-15 chapters at most, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.  
> I just wanted to write something silly and happy, and Thea and I are having a blast so far.  
> 

Naruto was running out of breath. He was running out of _time_. As he crawled out from underneath the monster, stumbling back into the path of the sun, the woodland area he was in began to darken and a thick smog culminated around him, signalling the beast was preparing to unleash a powerful attack. Naruto bent his knees and drew his sword into a defensive stance. The warrior, now squinting his eyes, surveyed his handiwork through the mist with strain. His weapon had grazed the Ogre’s abdomen, sure, but it hadn’t caused any real damage. Not even a fucking drop of blood dripped from the open tissue he’d worked so hard to puncture, and he’d been at it for almost nine minutes now, noticing the creature's health had only been minimally reduced.

This fight was turning out to be a real pain in the ass.

 **“Accept your fate!”** The large thing snarled, grinding its sharpened, pointed-clawed feet against the dirt like an enraged bull. **“LET ME EAT YOU!”**

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh at the request he’d heard a thousand times, wondering if the creator of this mammoth knew how annoying the repetition was. It just further served to piss him off as he took the slight cool-down time to carefully pick the leaves out of his matted blonde hair, wondering just how long they would dance around like this. After all, this was his fifth time circling around his target, dodging flattering attempts at dismemberment. He should have killed this thing already; but the curved fantasy sword, with an extra long handle for two handed use, still needed more time to adjust to its new owner.

Naruto’s back muscles tensed when the monsters green tinted skin glowed .

This is fine, he guessed. He worked great under pressure. Drool and sanguine fluid from its last meal dribbled down its chin like a waterfall. It was drawing aggro. From beneath the ground, creatures that looked like weasels began to scurry towards Naruto at the Ogre’s unspoken command. It was a distraction. An annoying one, yeah, but a distraction nonetheless. Naruto wouldn’t fall for it. He activated his flash step. A blur of yellow light pierced the veil of fog as he struck the ground with his foot, incinerating the small fries without so much as a backwards glance.

The Ogre hated that. It charged at him again with its spiked club, positively murderous to see his minions destroyed. Naruto rolled out of the way of the oncoming attack, sprinting around the beast in circles - attempting to think of a plan, to disorient the creature by moving fast enough with his agility buff. But things were getting more intense. Naruto could feel the ground tremble, tiny pebbles convulsing under the soles of his shoes each time the monster would surge forward in his direction with a disjointed garble, only to catch his after image. Naruto licked his lips, looking for that one opportunity to strike. The Duke of Fature, after all, was the most difficult quest in the Land of Fire; no one’s beaten him, though that didn’t stop Naruto from trying.

Finding the monster proved to be almost as tedious as battling him. This place, The Forest in the Mist, had a rep for being the most dangerous area in the game, and people weren't joking around when they said it was a death trap. Having encountered everything from thugs to zombies to mosquitoes the size of a house, he wasn't in the mood to whistle show tunes. At the moment, he was nearing exhaustion here, and a healer he'd picked up got himself killed by a bunch of man-eating flowers ages ago, so Naruto didn't know how much more he could take.

He spread his legs apart as he surveyed the thing, hoping the blood and sweat put into this would be worth it. Once a normal human being, the Duke had been turned into a fearsome Ogre because of his own insatiable greed. Naruto, having been employed by the town of Fature itself to slay their once charismatic resident, was offered a bountiful prize. If he killed the monster within a fifteen minute time frame, he would get a rare cloak that would make him one of the fastest warriors in the land—or so the Quest said.

He had five minutes left.

_Fuck._

If he could only find an opening, then he’d be home free.

Naruto was happy to say he got one when the large beast threw its head back in frustration, letting out a blood-curling scream.

Of course it would throw a temper tantrum.

They’d been dancing around for awhile now.

This was his chance. While the thing was pissed off and distracted, Naruto channeled his energy, taking the appropriate stance. He loved the way his weapon (which he affectionately named _The Sage)_ glowed blue, comfortably fitting against his palm. He concentrated on his wind focus, charging his power. His blade was encompassed by its own personal typhoon, wisps of air lashing out in sporadic directions—and that’s when Naruto bolted. He ran so fast that the sword’s edge dragged against the ground, splitting the earth.

“It’s over!” Naruto screamed, jumping into the air. A triumphant grin stretched across his face. His sword burned, the hurricane of air transforming into violent, cobalt flames. In the sword's reflection he could see his victory, could already envision the way his final attack would destroy what was left of the Duke in a climax fit for a hero of his caliber. He would return to town with the cloak of the infamous swordsmen—the _Flash_ —on his back, and he would be the talk of the town for weeks. Months. Hell, maybe even years.

At least, that's how everything should have went.

**“CHIDORI!”**

Naruto slayed _no one._  
  
The flesh in the Ogre’s abdomen bubbled from an attack that _wasn’t his own._ A large, pulsing ball beneath the monster’s skin burst, and the Ogre fell to the ground on one knee as a sword pierced the thick, pasty skull of the creature from behind. Naruto was speechless as his target, the one he’d spent almost two hours tracking down, the one he’d so desperately coveted, was killed with just a single skill—and his jaw dropped to the floor alongside the creature's grotesquely mutilated form. The Duke of Fature gave one last wail, his glowing red eyes and snarling, puffy lips, opened into a drooling moan, and then he became silent.

His body evaporated into a thousand particles, rising up into the cool, crisp air.

Naruto tried to grapple with the reality—or in this case, the fantasy—of the situation as the pitch black sword, responsible for the creature’s demise, levitated off the ground and back into the hand of the assassin.

The _fuck?_

**Ping-Ping-Pang!**

_"Congratulations,_ **_Kyuubi_ ** _! You have defeated,_ **_The Duke of Fature_ ** _,"_ a cheerful, feminine voice proudly exclaimed, playing a small, fruity tune as a window appeared to show Naruto his spoils. _"You've earned 300 Exp, 800 Gold. This month's special event, Inner Spirit, is awarding you with a special  consolation prize. Please accept this Transformation Egg into your inventory! If you're patient, it will hatch in,_ **89 hours** , _as long as you're logged in!_ "

In a flash, two beams of light emerged from the ground and slipped into his satchel.

Naruto's face continued to fall as the message continued.

_"Don't spend your spoils all at once, young warrior!"_

"Where's the cloak?!" Naruto screamed, looking over his inventory, once, twice—as if that would will it into existence. Some feet away from him, he could hear the same notification sound.

Naruto’s eyes flared, whipping his head in the direction of the offending noise.

**Ping-Ping-Pang!**

" _Congratulations,_ **_Sharingan!_ ** _You have defeated,_ **_The Duke of Fature,"_** that same voice exclaimed, and Naruto narrowed his eyes. This time, it appeared next to the mysterious figure who came out of nowhere." _You've earned 140 Exp, 400 Gold. This month's special event, Inner Spirit, is awarding you with a rare prize. Please accept,_ **_Cloak of the Yodaime_ ** _, into your inventory!_ "

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Naruto hissed. Those same two beams of light emerged from the ground and slipped into the other player’s satchel, accompanied by the sound of victory bells. Naruto rushed to open his inventory and saw the small amount of money and that one, useless egg, chilling in his bag.

This was a joke. It had to be. He did all the work. Naruto slaved over this giant fucker but some asshole gets the prize _just_ because he finished it off?!

“Hey, you," Naruto growled, glaring at the KS-er. “Do you have your mature language filter off?”

_And do you have a death wish?_

"Excuse me?" Came the deep richness of the other man's voice.

The player, username _Sharingan_ , pulled down the hooded cloak that was covering his face before turning towards him. Naruto's heart stuttered in his chest when he came face to face with a dark elf, one whose beauty far surpassed the classes illustrious reputation. The svelte man regarded him indifferently. His crimson eyes contrasted sharply with spiky, black hair, donning a tight, leather one piece that wrapped around his sculpted frame, almost like an art piece.

“Is there a reason my filter needs to be off?” Sharingan said, his voice low. Exasperated. Waiting for a verbal response. “Well?”

Naruto felt himself flush. For whatever reason, he thought the man before him was out-of-this-world- _pretty_ . Gorgeous. With creamy, ivory skin, that glowed against the now setting sun. The elves delicate features, long fingers, and high cheek bones only furthered the mysterious allure. Naruto couldn't help but swallow hard as Sharingan lifted a perfectly elegant eyebrow, regarding him with about as much reverence as one would the dirt on their shoe. They kind of reminded him of…  
  
“Sasuke?” Naruto nearly stammered, blinking owlishly.  
  
Sharingan met the declaration with a blank stare.  
  
The pale man furrowed his brows.  
  
“Who?”  
  
“You’re not…?’ Sharingan's avatar eerily looked like _him_ , and The Land of Fire was celebrated for being the first game to near-flawlessly integrate a person’s real life appearance into a character model. Not everyone picked that option, for obvious reasons, but the ones who did were able to alter their appearance to fit with the games reality. Was it really just a coincidence that this avatar looked like his best friend?  
  
“I…” Naruto shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. There’s been a misunderstanding. You just... look like someone I know? You look a _lot_ like him.”  
  
The resemblance was uncanny.  
  
Sharingan’s upper lip twitched at the statement.  
  
“Should I be impressed you know someone in real life with elf ears or concerned?”  
  
Naruto rolled his eyes at the joke.  
  
He tried to ignore the resemblance for now, switching back to the matter at hand.

“Well,” Naruto pressed, impatient. “Back to what I said. Do you have your filter on or not?"

"No, I don’t.”

“Great,” Naruto seethed. Awesome. That means he doesn’t have to worry about cussing out a twelve year old on the internet. “That’s good, because what’s your _fucking_ problem, huh?!” Sharingan snorted. “That was _my_ kill! I spent hours trying to find this place, it took forever for me to get his HP in half and y-you! You -  you one shot him?! _And_ you steal the special event item?!

Naruto begrudgingly stomped up to Sharingan, giving him a once over. He stopped a few meters away, his nostrils flaring.

"That move just now. Did you hack?” Naruto practically spat.

“Hack?” Sharingan questioned, turning to face Naruto fully. He stared _down_ at him (God, this jerk had to be taller) with a look that clearly questioned his intelligence, or lack thereof. “Did you really just ask that?”

Sharingan crossed his arms over his chest, head cocked to the side with an almost pitying expression on his face. Naruto instantly wanted to smack it right off him.

“You know, there’s a thing called ‘leveling up’,” Sharingan sneered. “You should try it some time. Maybe then it wouldn’t take you so long to kill one of these things.”

 _Seriously, who the hell does this guy think he is?_ Naruto scowled, visibly offended. Without so much as a word Naruto tapped the air, pulling up Sharingan's level with a flimsy wave of his hand. Naruto's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Sharingan was five levels higher than him. How the hell was that possible? Naruto tried to mask the inferiority he felt as he exited out of the stat menu and pointed at Sharingan, eyebrow twitching as he raised his voice by at least two octaves.

“Stop acting high and mighty. I’m only five levels lower than you,” Naruto curled his index finger against his palm, making a fist as he shook it angrily at the other player. “And I know that there’s no way you’re _that_ much stronger than I am. Even with buffs there's no way a rogue like you can pack a bigger punch than a knight. I'm talking about your fancy-ass attack move! You just swooped in and,” Naruto stammered, flicking out all his fingers at once. He attempted a fierce expression as he brought his arm up and down in the next second; a poor imitation of Sharingan’s earlier attack. “SHWING!! You - you just! Slashed it in half! PWAH! Like he was nothing!"

Sharingan’s eye twitched, clearly not a fan of the little display nor the sound effects.

With a sigh, and a wave, he dismissed Naruto, shaking his head.

“Hn. I can’t help it if you don’t know where to get gear that’s your level, moron.”

Gaudy _prick._  

With a dry laugh, Sharingan gestured to Naruto’s great sword, narrowed eyes inspecting it with scrutiny.

“That thing is obviously from what, ten… twelve levels ago?” Naruto flinched, realizing it was obvious he’d only _just_ started to upgrade recently. “Maybe if you took the time to open your skill menu and use your skill points towards a single skill tree-”

“Wait a minute, bastard! Who are you to tell me how to play the game?”

Sharingan held up his hand, indicating that Naruto should shut his mouth because he was talking. Clearly, what he had to say was much more important than Naruto’s failed attempts to justify himself, and at the motion Naruto felt a vein in his temple throb. He was _this_ close to declaring a PVP, right here and now.

“I looked at your stats, idiot. They’re all over the place. If you used your skill points _correctly_ , _Kyuubi,_ maybe you’d have one or more of the top tier attacks,” Sharingan continued, his words condescending and filled with personal triumph.

“Evidently you lack common sense. Or maybe you skipped the tutorial  - so let me repeat the basics to you. Once you have one tree done, it’s easier to get the others as you level. Everyone knows that. Instead of trying to fight a boss that you _clearly_ can’t handle, you should go reset and re-spec your stats. You look like a noob whacking around the forest with your auto-attack, and it's painful to watch you spam your special attacks when you clearly don't know how to use them.”

Sharingan lowered his hand, pocketing it as he drew circles in the air carelessly with his other.

“Pick up some cheap runes from the market. You don’t have any equipped and it’s pathetic. Your attacks are weak.”

“I - _fuck!_ ” Naruto reached up to scrub his fingers through his hair, blue eyes inflamed with embarrassment and fury. His face burned, and Sharingan’s eyes glowed with amusement at the redness staining his cheeks. “You’re strong, I get it. But that still doesn’t change the fact you STOLE my kill, and the loot with it!”

“So?” Sharingan asked dryly, letting his arm drop to hang loosely by his side.

Naruto threw his arms out towards Sharingan, exasperated.

Did he _really_ have to spell it out for him?  

“SO? GIVE IT BACK!” Naruto demanded, huffing through his nostrils. “I worked so hard to get that fucking cloak, and you just…! Just…! Ninja it out from under my nose! Trade it to me, _now_!”

Staring wordlessly at Naruto with about as much urgency as a tree stump, Sharingan once again raised his arm and swiped the air with little to no effort put into the action. His fingers were quick, adept at navigating through his menu, dark eyes lingering on Naruto’s enraged, almost desperate expression for a moment before shifting to look at his inventory. Naruto swallowed, waiting with bated breath. Sharingan muttered something under his breath that sound awfully close to _seriously?_

“This is garbage,” Sharingan deadpanned, without much regard for Naruto’s quickly slackening jaw.  Even if it was crap - which it _definitely wasn’t -_ Naruto spent time and effort looking for it. It held sentimental value, if anything.

Naruto set his jaw as Sharingan sighed again—just how many times?—regarding him pitifully.

“You’d be better off buying something from a town vendor.”

“G-garbage?” Naruto gaped at Sharingan like he’d grown three heads. “It’s not garbage! It’s an event item! It’s worth-”

“Nothing. It’s worth nothing,” Sharingan interrupted, giving the item a delicate tap, as though it would soil his finger if he touched it properly. “Just because it’s an event item, doesn’t mean it’s good. They label it as an ‘event item’ to get brainless morons like you to look for it, but it’s useless. What a waste of time.”

Naruto ground his teeth together.

“Don’t say that," He growled. "I spent hours looking for that!”

“Oh, look,” Sharingan said with a smirk, motioning to the item highlight window, which wasn’t visible to Naruto at his angle. “Shit. Says it right there in the description: 'A piece of shit.'”

“You’re so!” _That’s it._ Naruto was losing his mind here. Something about this person was just grating on his nerves. “Give it to me.”

Naruto took a step closer, and jabbed his chest with his thumb, “I’ll take it off your hands. You're clearly _too good_ for it.”

“It’s just for looks,” Sharingan ignored him, staring at the item description, smirk stretching even wider, “and look, it says here, anyone who manages to obtain this item, after hours of nonsensical searching, shall receive the achievement and title: Deadlast.”

Naruto wanted to kill him.

Unsheathing his sword, Naruto held it out in front of him determinedly. Even if Sharingan was levels ahead of him, this game was about skill.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, the silent challenge received with only a tongue click from the elf. Sharingan’s eyes drifted from the item description to Naruto’s stance, taking in Naruto's own imposing, bulkier set of armor. Naruto took another step closer, and Sharingan's smirk fell away, if only fractionally.

“Don’t waste your time challenging me to a PVP."

"Hah. Are you scared?" Naruto grinned. Figures. This guy was all talk.

"No," Sharingan deadpanned. "It’s account bound.”

Naruto froze.

“What?”

“It’s account bound,” Sharingan repeated, his expression back to the neutral, semi-relaxed bitch-face and all, and Naruto was beginning to think that was his natural look.

“WHAT!?” Naruto shouted, voice echoing around them. His sword disappeared back behind his back and the slap of his palms against his cheeks was almost as loud as the agonized groan that followed after. “NO!”

Exiting out of the item and inventory windows, Sharingan swiped his menu up and firmly pressed the last option, middle and index finger hovering over one of the only cogs that were available in the next window.

 **  
** **[[Log Off]]**

  
“Where do you think you’re going!?” Naruto snapped, closing the distance between himself and the fading avatar until he was fisting the hem of Sharingan’s armor, lifting him slightly off the ground.

 

**(5)**

 

 ****“Hey! You’re going to help me find another one!”

**(4)**

 

Sharingan raised an eyebrow, his hand on his hip as the clock counted down.

**(3)**

 

“As much as I’d like to follow you around and watch you attempt to humiliate yourself..."

 **  
** **(2)  
**

"I have more important things to do.” Sharingan craned his neck, his breath fanning against Naruto’s cheek as he whispered, “... some people _actually_ have a life.”

 

**(1)**

 

Naruto made indecipherable noises, positively shaking.

Sharingan disappeared in his hand, his body becoming nothing but a clustered, colored mess of pixels as they fluttered up into the sky.

Naruto stared up at the remnants, unable to process what just happened.

“I…” Naruto swallowed, blinking slowly, and drawing a slow breath through his nose. “YEAH!? WELL…!”

Kicking a rock, Naruto spun on his heel, arms thrown up in the air as he stomped off in the direction he’d originally come from. Furious.

“I'VE GOT SOMEWHERE TO BE TOO, BUDDY!” He yelled at no one, not caring that Sharingan was logged out and long gone. Fuck him. He’d get it by himself. He’d get stronger, too. So strong Sharingan would _wish_ he’d groveled for forgiveness when he had the chance. This _wasn’t_ over.

This was far from over.

“I’ll get it by myself, all by myself. I don’t even - shit, what’s the time?” Naruto grumbled, opening the menu aggressively, arm flexed. His eyes widened when he saw the numbers at the bottom of the window, lip jutting out. “Damn it! I’m gonna be late for school!”

Naruto swiped the menu blindly, pressing the option at the very bottom, and yelled at the dimming sky.

“I’ll get you, you bastard!”

* * *

  
When he emerged from the game, pulling off his VR headset, Naruto scrambled to get ready. His blonde hair was a mess of tousled barbs and knots, and his orange tee that read ‘I _logged out for this?’_ sagged over one shoulder as he viciously pried it off, rushing to change into his uniform. _Hoping_ that he’d make it on time. 

Patting down his hair in a futile attempt to tame it he grabbed his book bag and rushed for the door. He stumbled into the hallway, running down the steps to the front entrance.

“Mom! Dad! I’m heading out,’ Naruto called distractedly, kicking on his shoes. He checked his phone again. _8:23._  
  
_Dead._  
  
_So dead._  
  
If he was lucky, maybe she’d forgotten all about it.

Naruto tapped the messenger app on his Samsung and he was overcome with a sense of dread.

Five missed calls and twenty-two texts.

The first _twenty_ were from Sakura.

Shit.

 **[8:00:20 AM] Forehead : Naruto where r u?  
** **  
** **[8:03:08 AM] Forehead : Idiot u better not be playing that game**

 **[8:10:10 AM] Forehead: Naruto  
** **  
** **[8:10:20 AM] Forehead: I s2g if you make me late for school i’ll castrate u**

**[8:16:43 AM] Forehead: Naruto I called ur mom**

**[8:17:04 AM] Forehead: I know what you’re doing  
** **  
** **[8:18:00 AM] Forehead: Ha. Enjoy your last day alive. :)**

 

Naruto laughed nervously and tapped out.

He glanced at the messages sent right after hers.

  
**[8:20:01 AM] Duckass: Late again.  
** **  
** **[8:22:03 AM] Duckass: Dumbass.**

 

If Sakura was still waiting for him at the bus stop, Naruto wasn’t sure if he could consider it a miracle or a curse.

Naruto’s phone vibrated.

**[8:25:40 AM] Duckass: RIP, Uzumaki.**

  
“Be safe!” Minato called from the kitchen, unable to see the color drain from his son’s face.

Sasuke was right.

Sakura was going to destroy him.

* * *

  
"…So here's where I got this great idea," Naruto pitched his case with a smile Sakura would only describe as desperate. "You don't have a date for prom, _I_ don't have a date for prom…how about it? We can just go as friends! Come on, Sakura… I _need_ this. And if you get bored we can leave, or I can try to get Sasuke to dance with you or something. Whaddya say?"

"Hey, numbskull," Sakura exhaled through her nose as they stood in the school lobby, “I can’t even trust you to meet me at the bus stop on time, much less be my prom date.”

“That’s not even my fault! It was that rich asshole _Sharingan,_ coming out of nowhere with his flashy moves and fucking OP armor and he bates me once, just _once,_ and I freaking lose it, and you should have seen how-,” Naruto began, only to close his mouth as she lifted a perfectly plucked brow in skepticism. Right - she wouldn’t know anything about that.  
  
The Land of Fire got him in trouble this morning, and the last thing Naruto wanted to do was rekindle Sakura’s wrath over being stood up for a game. “Urgh, nevermind.”

As they walked Sakura’s large, beautiful green eyes, pitifully gazed at his freshly-bruised face. Despite nearly pummeling him into the ground earlier for being late, Sakura looked as cute as ever, and not at all like the demon who'd assaulted him. She wore the Konohagakure uniform well. Her sailor white blouse was complimented by a pink ribbon, tied in the front and laced through a loop. Her blue pleated skirt swayed as she dusted it off. Pink hair, tied into a short ponytail, bobbed as she shook her head, letting out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Look, Naruto… it's not that I wouldn't have fun with you, but…” She paused, as if trying to find the right words. “I'm sorry, Lee… he asked me this morning.”

"And you said yes?" Naruto couldn’t believe it. Even bushy brows had a date. _Bushy brows_ had a _date_. He was happy for Lee. The poor guy had been vying for Sakura’s attention since grade school, so he was sure Lee was over the moon right now. "But, I thought you told me you wouldn't go out with Lee even if all the guys in the world were wrinkled, stank and senile?"

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed. She stopped to look around, just to make sure no one else—especially Lee—heard them before pressing on. "Forget what I said before,” she frowned as they made their way toward their individual shoe lockers, “he just asked me in a really sweet way, okay? So I said yes."

"I can be sweet," Naruto moaned. He batted his eyes in one last attempt to win her over, but it was sadly no use. “Damnit.”

Naruto hung his head.  
  
He would need to placate himself with an arm around his own waist on the dance floor.

"I'm sorry,” Sakura said, sincere, "but you do know that having a date to prom isn’t even a big deal, right? ”

"Coming from someone who's gotta date," Naruto mumbled in a tiny voice, his face forming a pout. "Seriously Sakura, I tried _everyone_ from class seven _._ Even Lee's cousin is going with someone."

Sakura looked mildly disturbed.

"Lee has a cousin that goes here?"

"With bushier brows, too."

The both of them shivered.

“Well, I'm sure someone will ask you out sooner or later," Sakura assured him, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. They stopped in front of their cubbies. Naruto kicked off his gaudy orange sneakers and cast a skeptical, sideways glance at her as he reached inside to pull out his indoor shoes.  
  
“Don’t give me that look, stupid. You’re captain of the Kendo team. I’m surprised it’s even taken this long for you to find someone to go with.”  
  
“What’s Kendo got to do with this?”  
  
Sakura’s lips formed a flat line, forehead creased in disbelief.    
  
“Seriously, Naruto? Are you really that dense?” Sakura shook her head. “Since you joined the team, our school’s won against every competing school in the prefecture. Remember when you beat Gaara of Sunagakure high? That was a big deal. You could probably go on to compete in the WKC if you wanted to. Everyone knows you have potential.”  
  
“Yeah. And your point?”  
  
“My _point,_ dumb-ass, is you don’t have to look far. I’ve seen how he-... I mean,” Sakura smiled nervously, “how _everyone_ drools over you in the dojo when you’re practicing. It’s because you’re passionate. You may not be great academically, but you work hard, and it really shows on your face. It’s hard to look away from you sometimes. Even I’ve caught myself staring, haha.”  
  
Naruto’s face flushed red.  
  
He closed the hatch and slipped on his dress shoes.  
  
“If I heard you say that years ago I’d be on the floor, having an aneurysm,” Naruto mumbled, scratching his cheek bashfully. Even though it was old news now, his crush on Sakura in middle school had been _legendary_. If he’d heard that back then, Naruto was sure his middle school self would have been transported on a gurney to the nearest ER.  
  
“Even if what your saying’s true, I’ve pretty much asked everyone we know. And I don’t know any underclassmen besides Konohamaru,” Naruto frowned, stretching his neck from side to side. “I’ve had a few offers, yeah, but... I dunno Sakura, it just feels wrong, y’know? Going with someone who’s my junior if I’m gonna graduate soon.”  
  
He didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea. Naruto sort of had a track record for being too nice, too eager to please people. And sometimes—more than he’d like to admit—this inherent, compulsory friendliness gave the wrong impression. If he could he’d _really_ like to avoid any misunderstandings, which is why it was easier to just go with a friend.  
  
“Maybe I should try fatass or dog breath.”

“Too late. They both have a date.”

Naruto choked on his own spit.

“You’re joking!”

“Choji hooked up with Karui from class four, and Kiba’s going with Hinata,” Sakura shrugged.

Naruto wanted to fling himself into the sun.

“That’s why he canceled on me? Blue balls? That jerk, it makes sense now!” Naruto couldn’t believe it. That _traitor._ “Kib’s and I planned on spiking the punch bowl, but that asshole bailed on me last minute. _Now_ I know why!”

“Can you blame him, Naruto?” Sakura sighed. “God, sometimes I really wonder if there's a brain in that thick skull of yours. Do you really think the teachers are that stupid? That’s the oldest prank in the world. _No one_ is going to let you get away with it.”  
  
“But there’s just no way I can go if I’m sober," Naruto grumbled. “All the girls here are either taken or creaming themselves over Sasuke, and I just _know_ the entire dance I'll hear nothing but-"

"Sasuke!"

And speak of the pheromone machine, there it - well, _he_ was. Surrounded by a crowd of fawning, doe-eyed females, Sasuke entered the school with a mob in tow, looking uninterested and sick of the attention as usual. Naruto clenched his jaw. For some reason, each shrill cry from Sasuke’s fans had his nerves on edge lately, and he wished he could go just _one_ day without having to hear the usual pleas of…-

"Sasuke! Go to the dance with me?"

"Back off _bitch!_ No, go with me Sasuke! Sasuke!"

Naruto's mouth went slack.

He wished he could knock himself out, spare himself the ear-piercing agony of their shrill voices vying for the oh-so-wonderful Sasuke Uchiha's attention. Because seriously, was the guy manufactured from a sex shop or something? It's like every time Sasuke walked into a room every girl in his class dropped their panties and stood at attention. Not like this was anything new. His best friend had always been _gifted_ with the ability to eye-fuck anyone he looked at, even when they were in middle school.  
  
Too blue eyes flitted over Sasuke's tense form. He looked trapped, as always. Naruto's tongue flicked over his bottom lip, oddly fixated by the smooth, pale skin of Sasuke's exposed collarbone, barely concealed by the white shirt under his gakuran. Figures that even in their boring uniform he would still look like a model.

Naruto drew in a breath, his gaze falling half-mast as Sasuke made his way towards them, greeting them with a small wave.  
  
He could be one, if he wanted to.  
  
Even his hands were perfect.  
  
It was unreal how fucking good looking Sasuke was.

Naruto, for the briefest of moments, could see that avatar from this morning flash in his peripheral.

Naruto looked away—he hadn’t been wrong. Sasuke and that guy _looked_ similar, but it didn't mean anything. There were differences. Where Sharingan was lithe and more effeminate, Sasuke showcased a set of core muscles that moved beneath thin cotton, emphasized each time he bent or stretched.  
  
Sasuke's face was better looking, too.  
  
He meant this objectively. Of course. Naruto remembered when they were little how all the old hags in his neighborhood would stop by his house every weekend—when they _knew_ Sasuke was over—to deliver freshly baked cookies. Parents loved him. Fuck, birds probably changed flight patterns just to be near him longer. And teachers worshiped the chairs Sasuke sat on. He had perfect test scores. He’d also been student council president for three years before stepping down to vice.  
  
“Naruto,” Sasuke called, and Naruto’s pulse spiked (for whatever weird reason) as he heard Sasuke get closer to them.  
  
It wasn’t like he needed to justify himself. Sasuke was attractive. The sky was blue. What was he getting all embarrassed for?  
  
They were friends.  
  
“How about Sasuke?” Sakura said suddenly, her voice low so only he could hear, and Naruto blinked.  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“He’s not going with anyone,” Sakura simply smiled, but something weighty lingered beneath the surface. Naruto wished he could figure out what it was. “You two should just go together.”  
  
Huh?

"Hey, Sasuke!” Sakura greeted normally, as though she'd never said anything. Naruto was in a daze as she tipped forward on her heels. He nearly blanched when he realized Sasuke was already next to him.  
  
“Ready for Kakashi-Sensei’s pop quiz?"

“It’s not a pop quiz if we know about it,” Sasuke responded coolly. He ran pale, dexterous fingers through inky, black locks, and Naruto subconsciously followed the movement with his eyes. Sasuke carefully placed his shoes in his locker and dropped the black penny loafers to the ground with an unceremonious _thump._

“I’m not worried.”

"’Course not,” Naruto said casually, having finally found his voice.  
  
Seriously, what... was that all about?  
  
“It uh,  _sure_ must be nice not having to study like the rest of us. Does it ever get crowded in there? Storing all that information in that duck butt of yours?”  
  
“For the last time, Naruto. Sasuke’s head is _not_ a sentient duck from outer space that thinks for him.”  
  
“Take. Me. To. Your. Leader,” Naruto punctuated slowly, wiggling his fingers in the air.  
  
Sakura, against her better judgement, actually laughed at the stupid display.  
  
Sasuke smiled.  
  
“Just hearing that out loud sounds moronic,” Sasuke chided, flashing his teeth in a teasing grin that Naruto, unwillingly, instinctively, mirrored back at him. He slapped Naruto’s wrist away from his face with a quiet laugh. “It must be difficult, being dumb."  
  
Naruto’s heart swelled, as it always did, at the sound.  
  
He could listen to it forever, he realized.   
  
"Haha." Right.  
  
_They were friends._

“I’ll show you who the dumb one is when I _ace_ that pop quiz!” Naruto promised, pounding his chest with his fist. But as much as he preened and postured, he felt wrong. Naruto was struggling to ignore how his ears flushed pink, or how his heart started to drum against his chest like he'd ran a marathon. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep last night. He felt strange.  
  
_The sky's blue,_ he reminded himself.  
  
The mitochondria's the powerhouse of the cell, and he and Sasuke were-  
  
"Bastard."  
  
...-just friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for dropping by! Let us know what you think!  
> \- Thea & Noodles


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